sometimes I ask, sometimes I just wonder

so.... I mean.... after Sena... I better be the only one... like just saying, I don't think I'd be able to handle you having to figure stuff out with another girl. But like I said, at the same time, I can't even imagine walking away. So don't make me have to walk away, okay? :)?

And I really wonder when you guys are finally going to date... if you are going to date? I thought you were trying to get things figured out quickly? I get that it's easier said than done, but yeah. And yeah yeah I know I shouldn't read into anything too much. But yeah. I would have thought it would have happened by now. Not gonna lie, for a couple days I had thought it had but not so much anymore. I mean maybe you guys are going slow but I think it's been like a month since you have said y'all are gonna date. So idk. Like I said, I'm trying to not read into it that much... But I can't help but think back to the very beginning when we first started. Yes, we were young and naive, but we still knew right away and dove right into it. I mean we talked for what, a week before going out? And then we were dating for what, 2 weeks when we knew we loved each other? We just knew. I mean yes, back then we didn't know much and didn't fully know what love meant and was, but still. That's gotta say something, right? I know everyone's situations and stories are different, I get that, but idk still just yeah. And like I mean I kinda want to know what's going on with you guys but I don't want to ask and I'm afraid I won't like the answer. Maybe it remaining unknown for now is good? I dunno. I also don't think you would say anything negative or hinting at negative until it is actually fully done. Because I know you don't want me jumping ahead of situations and how things really are and finding hope that isn't really there. So I guess I do hold back from asking you about stuff with her, but that's probably for the best.

I think I've done a pretty good job of accepting how things are, don't you? I think I've come to terms (for the most part) that this is how it is and this is how it's going to be for who knows how long. I have to try to make the best of it. I can't change anything at this point, even though I sometimes still try to. Things just have to play out. Just have to wait and see the outcome.

I guess some sort of reaction to my last post would be nice... but only if you want to. I'm not gonna put sweet words in your mouth

............I miss you