love :P

so I don't wanna be the female dog here... cuz I know my friend was just talking about this but yeah... it just got me thinking. so here goes.

I feel really lucky. Sometimes it takes someone pointing it out for you to really truly notice it. But now I know that I really am doing pretty good. And I should probably point out that I'm talking about the whole romance aspect of life. That sounded cheesy but oh well. I'm a teenage girl. I like cheesy things :) but anyways, I have found a person that really... well loves me. And it's just... it's amazing. You don't realize how just good that person makes your life until you hear someone else talk about not having that person. About not having a person to always be there. And to be there in a best friend way plus more. Someone you can always confide in. Someone you feel completely safe with. The one that knows you so well that some days you think they get you more than you get yourself. The person that can make you smile and laugh when there is no way that anyone else would have been able to. The person that has seen you at your worst and most vulnerable but still loves you. The person that will pick you up as soon as you have fallen. The one that tells you sweet things, just to make you smile because that is one of the things he loves most. The one that talks to your best friend about Christmas presents for you when it's still more than 2 months away. The one that calls you right before bed, simply to hear your voice and tell you that he loves you. The one that you talk to for hours and hours and never get sick of each other. The one that falls asleep on the phone with you because neither one of you wants to say goodnight. The one that holds you tight. That one person that you love so much and you can't believe that they actually love you back but you are so dang happy that he does.

Now I'm sorry for that. It got kinda rantish. But I just... gah I don't know how to explain it. I'm just so glad I have him. I'm never alone because of him. I know that I always have someone on my side. Everyone should have someone like that. Everyone deserves someone like that.

Because of him, I don't need to make 11:11 wishes anymore. It's already come true. And I know that this is all starting to get cheesy but I'm feeling really deep. It really does make sense why this, love, is what we look for our whole lives until we find it. Everyone should love and be loved.

I hear other girls talking and analyzing all these little things that a guy does and such. And... I'm so glad I can be past that. To me, it just seems so... junior high. And I don't meant that in a bad way, not at all. I just feel like I'm past that. I don't have the need to do that anymore. And it's nice. It's nice to not have to stress about him doing this and him doing that and what do you think was his motive behind it and do you think he realized how it came across? Now I don't feel as though I am above the girls that still do that, I just feel like I'm on a different boat. Because I am I guess. I don't have to scrutinize every little thing and wonder about it. There is a certain giddy-ness that comes with the whole new boy developments. And don't get me wrong, it was exciting. But now I have moved on to a new kind of giddy-ness. I guess you could say I went from a guessing giddy-ness to a knowing giddy-ness. I know that he likes me back and I know what he means by things and why he does things and even when I don't, I know I can always ask him about it. I can ask him anything. I dunno I guess in a way this all makes me feel more mature. Maybe it has actually made me more mature. Who knows.

I have been sitting here for a couple minutes now, just trying to decide on what to say and how to say it. I'm really not trying to sound like I'm gloating but it kinda seems like it has come across that way. I just really get how lucky I am. And now I have kinda hit another mind block so I'll just be done

You make me feel like I'm living a teenage dream <3

november

so november is coming up... not really looking forward to it...

November is the month where it is cold and windy. You say November, and that is all I think about. It's usually pretty cloudy too. Yuck. It's like my least favorite weather. Especially since it is cold but there usually isn't really any snow on the ground yet. And I mean who wants to stare at dead grass the whole month? It's just gross. The only good thing about November is Thanksgiving. I wouldn't say Thanksgiving it my favorite holiday, not by a long shot, but I still like it; its nice. So sorry if you are one of those people who loves November for some reason but I really just can't wait til December comes around. December is a much better month. December is Christmastime <3

I go back to December all the time... <3

crazy..?

Am I crazy for thinking that I've found the person for me? That this is the guy I can really see myself spending my life with? Is that really so crazy? Yes, I'm still young. Yes, there is plenty of time for me to change my mind in the future... But... I really don't think I will. Like I said, I can honestly see him being the one for me. My prince charming. The one to get me through the ups and downs. The one that will love me through it. It isn't that crazy... is it?

We have talked about things like living together, and a marriage proposal, and even kids. Of course at this age, none if it is ever that serious... except that with us... we really are kinda serious about it. And it doesn't seem that ridiculous. It's just me and him and us and it's perfect.

Some of my friends even joke about how some day him and I will get married. That we will be voted cutest couple come senior year. And ya know, while they had the lightness in the way they said it, I'm pretty sure they were dead serious. We are going to be that couple. We all know it.

I know the road ahead for us is pretty daunting. It's honestly got me pretty scared. But I still have this feeling that we will make it through it. When we walked into each other's lives, we were meant to stay. We weren't going to stay around for a while and leave. We were meant to be forever <3

You lift my feet off the ground, you spin me around, you make me crazier, crazier <3