bad/bad

So I have noticed that whenever I'm in a bad mood, things with him and I then aren't good either. Like this week for example, I've been in a less than good mood for most of it and this week things with us haven't been that good. And last week, when I was in a really good mood pretty much all week, we were really good. It's like my mood directly affects how we are. Which does make some sense because I know I'm probably not fun to talk to when I'm sad or upset or pissed or exhausted. So then I try to be fun to talk to. I put pressure on myself to be happy so that we can be good. Because I love it when we are good. Like last Friday, oh my gosh we had such a great time, seriously best night in quite a while. So yeah. At this point, I'm really starting to wonder when anything is going to happen with us... maybe I'm wrong, but I feel like at this point, it's more a matter of when than if... I mean there is still an if but at 75% chance... maybe I am jumping ahead of how things are but I just feel that way. So then I really wonder when. I don't think there's any chance of it happening before prom in 2 weeks. Sounds like he has plans with the boys so he wouldn't want to be tied down. Which I wouldn't, I mean if that's what he wants to do then fine, I can't do anything about it.                 I just am... idk what I am. I will wait for him for ever but I guess I hope there's something to even wait for. And damn it I'm in a bad mood again. Because he said he has no reason to smile and I listed some things with question marks, one of them being "I love you?" and he said nope nothing. Ouch. I just don't know. When we are actually together and we are hanging out just us 2, everything is great and it's just like how it was when we dated and then yeah. But yeah I'm curious about the when... it's getting close to 3 months now... how many more will go by?

baseballll

sooo Z came over last night and we watched the Twins game and cuddled and it was great and I guess now it's up to 75% :)

11 weeks

so that's right. Now we are up to 11 weeks. It won't be too much longer until it will be 3 months. And holy crap that's a long time. I wish I knew how long a while was. Especially at this point. Since way back in the beginning, he said a while and 11 weeks later, he is still saying a while. So that stinks. I mean, I get it if he doesn't know so thus he can't really tell me, but still I wish he knew. But I do think we are making progress. I think he thinks we are making progress too. Like I had said, we are now up to 70% chance and really, that's pretty good. I mean it isn't 90% but still. A lot better chance that we will than we won't. And the chance has gone up. So hopefully it will go up more in the future. I'm sure we will end up going on another date fairly soon.
So last night he did end up coming over and visiting me for like an hour. He was tired and easily could have just gone home but instead he came here and we talked and laid in the dark. We had full intentions of taking a little bit of a nap but that never happened. And in the beginning he was planning on leaving a little earlier and then changed it to leaving a little later. He's done that more than once. Left later than he originally was going to. That's gotta be a good thing. And he's always the one to say that he loves me. Which he did. More than once. So yeah. I don't get him. It's like we are together and we always have a lot of fun together and enjoy each other's company, even if we just want to nap. But then nothing. And it's probably nothing but he has been a little weird today. He says he's tired. So yeah.