Just busy?

So you really haven't said much at all to me this entire break... And I get that you are busy but idk I just kinda wonder if there is something more to it. But I have no idea. 

It's really kinda sucked hardly getting to talk to you. Miss you

Blunt

So no us this school year. That's what you so bluntly stated. And it sucked and kinda hurt but honestly it wasn't that surprising. I had a feeling that something like that was coming. And before you had said it was unfair to ask you if you think we will get back together at some point because you had a gf. But now it's not fair because you can't see the future? It's not like I was asking if it will for sure happen. It was pretty much just an opinion question. I was just trying to gauge where you are at with things with us. Like if you would even want us again. I don't want to be niieve and think you want us eventually if you don't. Does that make sense? And I dunno like I could see us just being friends for ever with nothing ever changing but I could also see us getting back together and getting married one day. Such opposites. But that's life. Maybe I kinda need to back off for a bit. It's been a little weird lately. But gah 6 months is so long. I don't know what's going to happen between now and then but idk if I can just be a fuck buddy for that long. I want to be something more. But you've known that for ever now. That I want us. And I don't know what you think. And I kinda want to say that I hope something happens before the end of the year that changes your mind but you were so blunt and strong with your statement. And before, you had said that once you were single, we would have a chance. But you've made it clear that nothing has changed so the chance is still zero. 

But hey. Bright side. At least this summer will probably be super awesome then. 

I don't even know if I want to post this. 

boom

well that was certainly unexpected. Honestly did not see that coming. Like at all. And when I said sorry, I really did mean it. I know you didn't really believe me but I meant it. I know you really liked her. So yeah. I dunno I think I'm still processing. It was so sudden. It changes things. I mean it does but yet it doesn't. It's just different. I dunno I always thought this wouldn't happen until like January maybe. That was like the earliest I was putting it in my mind. But now it's just here and I dunno what will happen. Nothing will for a while I guess. I know you want to be single for a while. So then I guess I'll probably put January as my guess. If we do. I mean that's not even a for sure. I don't know where your head is at with all this. And I mean it's all up to you so my timeline really means nothing. I guess I don't know what to think. And I don't mean that in a bad way, not at all. I'm just processing. Like I said, I think it's because I thought it would still be months before this. And now there's actually like a chance but I don't know if you will take it or not. Maybe that's it too. Gah seriously, this sounds so depressing but really I'm kinda excited. But it has to be controlled because I know you aren't going to just come back to me. It's complicated and I'm tired :P Don't read all that much into this :P