words

"I love the time we spend together and whenever I'm with you, it makes me really want us back together. But I don't want a relationship right now. When I look into your eyes, I know that I love you"

sinister

So Monday night he came over... and we watched a scary movie... and it was exactly like how it was when we were dating... seriously. But yeah nothing has changed. I asked if it was still a maybe some day or more of a some day and he said he wasn't sure :P so yeah... and T we seriously twin all the time because it seems like we are starting this whole together but not thing. I dunno. And it's been about 2 months now. And I have gotten better. I think I am pretty go with the flow now and accepting of how it is but yeah. I dunno just have to see how things go. Oh and I spent a while this morning applying for jobs. So yeah hopefully I finally get one.

and so

last night ended up being really great... I went and talked to Z for a while... and got home at 2 in the morning. It was a really great conversation, best one so far. And we were cuddling the whole time too, which he started which is so much better. So yeah... He said that he loves me a lot and that he thinks about getting back together a lot... but he doesn't want a relationship right now, not with anybody, and if he did, it would be with me. So that's mostly sweet with the little bitter in it. But it was a really honest conversation and I am so glad we had it! Because I had no idea that he has thought about getting back together... and now I get it more... Because ok saying a relationship requires work sounds bad but it just does. And there are things that come with a relationship that are no one's fault, they are just there. Which he told me about so I get where he is coming from more... It seems like he has generally had a lot on his plate lately. Like he has been sooo stressed about school... I just really wish I could help him more. So yeah I think that this was all good, I mean it made me pretty happy so yeah