don't go

last night... whoa. I missed the Friday Night Lights. That was pretty fun. My drive was pretty decent. I love driving and sometimes it helps clear my head sooo yeah. But then I got home... and you guys both know the story. It was really scary right away. I cried. I tried calming myself down and distracting myself with OTH. And that worked a little at least. Then you called me. And I had to tell you what was going on and idk if you could tell, but I almost started crying again. But you were really great and calmed me down and just talked to me and even made me laugh. It was exactly what I needed. It was perfect. You got major best friend points for that, stingy ;) But now that it's over, I'm probably going to worry about my dad some. But he's okay. Nothing serious. As of yet anyways. To me, this had seemed big when I had told you guys he was in the hospital, but it really wasn't, in comparison. He could have been in a bad car accident or something. But he wasn't. He's going to be okay. Thank God. I love my dad.

worried.

trying to stay positive. about everything. but it gets hard. especially right now.

slip

I realized I have slipped a lot lately. I even recognize that it's kinda pathetic. But I'm trying. A lot has been going on lately and it's just hard. But I'm trying. I guess I'll try harder. I'm sorry.

brb crying

so.... you said you get that feeling sometimes when we are together... but then it goes away afterwards... don't you think that's because we are just friends? I mean, doesn't it make sense that it doesn't feel like the old us because we aren't? Because we are just best friends? And you also have a gf so that's probably another solid reason it goes away. But it's still there. You still get it. I still get it. There's still something there. I think it would completely come back if we gave it another go. I mean, it would be different because of our friendship. It would be better. Just... ugh. It's been so long.

lol

lol to that entire day of school. I mean, it was pretty good, but boring and I was tired and hungry like the entire time. I think it will be a pretty good year though. I wish I had more classes or even a class :P with you guys! But oh well. I can't remember if I said this already, but hey, I'm actually pretty proud of us for becoming best friends over the summer. Congrats to us :) yeah I love that :)

sleep tonight

now that it's tomorrow... I don't even know how I feel about senior year starting anymore. It's a little scary but I'm just... idk I don't really believe it yet. It doesn't seem like it should be tomorrow. Where the heck did summer go?? Hopefully tomorrow goes well. I'm a little nervous, surprise surprise. :P I'm gonna be tired as hell from my whacked up sleep schedule and then who knows how well I'll even me able to sleep tonight. There will probably be a lot of my mind. About school, but also about other things too

leggo

so there are officially less than 36 hours until school starts :( :( :( summer went by wayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy too fast! I think it's ended pretty well though. Probably the best that I could have asked for. I just hope the good stuff rolls over into the school year. Because I think everything is finally starting to be really good again. T and I are good, Z and I are good. Nothing really bad is going on. I really don't have anything to complain about. Except maybe work :P The work grind was so real this week. Anyways, I mean, I'd be lying if I said that I wasn't anxious at all for school to start. Maybe it's mostly just the first day. But yet, at the same time, summer was so quick that I feel like I was just at school like a month ago and getting back into that routine will probably be a fairly easy adjustment. I guess I dunno I almost feel like I am indifferent towards school starting in a way. I mean, it's gonna happen no matter what. I'm gonna be sooo tired though! My sleep schedule is like 1 to 11. That's when I'm asleep or at least still in bed. So getting up at 7 or earlier, that will not be easy. I am NOT looking forward to being tired all the time again. But I do think it will be a really good, really fun year. I'm hoping for the best! I hope things just keep being good. I'm gonna do my best to take everything in stride but hopefully nothing drastic happens. Unless it's drastic in a good way :P I still think we would be so good! Just sayin :P anyways, I can't wait for the first football game. That will feel like fall. Gah and I need to get stuff figured out for my birthday too! Because it's already September! My birthday is getting pretty close! I'm excited! Guess we will have to see what all goes on with that. Just like everything else :P oh and I'm glad we are officially best friends! That's great! I love that! I just wanna hug you :P If you couldn't tell, it makes me happy :) anyways, goodnight, I love you guys!