interview

So I had my first ever job interview this morning... I think it well, I mean it seemed like she liked me, but hopefully it went well enough for me to get the job! I really really want it! I'm gonna get a call about it on Monday so yeah not too long from now. Keeping my fingers crossed!

I guess I just wish

So yeah I guess I just wish that some time soon something will actually start to change and matter... someone needs to knock some sense into him. I just... I don't know. I kinda feel like he is in this strong mind set where he thinks this break needs to go on and on and on... I just... I guess really, I am ok if we go through the next 2 months not together... but after that... I really want to be together over summer... summer is a great time for us... we are so great... boy just realize that we should be together! Plus by the time we even get to summer, it will have been 4 months. Which is a really long time. That's a THIRD of a year. Just grr. Frustrated I guess. Because I have no power and no control and it sucks. It all rests in his hands.

But hey in good news, I guess he still wants to go to Geneva this summer! I mean that has to be a good thing, right? I really hope we are together again then. We had so much fun together last year.

And another good thing, apparently he brought up our plans from forever ago of T, Z, and I living together in college and it sounds like he actually still wants to do that. T made it sound like it was basically up to whether or not I go to school here. Which I am pretty sure that I am. So yeah! That's gotta be really good! He still would like that which means he's not leaving my life any time soon

65

There is a 65% chance that we will get back together...

Obviously I wanted that chance to be higher so that sucks. But thinking about it more, that's pretty much a 2/3 chance, which isn't bad at all. Thank God it isn't like a 35% chance. That would have killed me. There's still a better chance that we will get back together than that we won't. And it's not like even just 55% where there is barely a better chance we will than we won't. So I am definitely trying to stay positive. Plus, getting a job will help and I have an interview Saturday! I really really hope I get the job! I need one so bad and my dad has been on my ass about it lately and I just generally want one so I have money and it will help the chance of our possible future relationship. Gah! And then it sounds like we are going to start doing like actual dates, which he said will maybe help the chance too. And that's an improvement over just over a month ago when he didn't want to go on dates together at all. So 65%. I can work with that.

9 weeks

why can't you just be ready and give in to yourself and be with me? I know you want us but I also know that you are very stuck in your idea of a break. For a while. Still a while. It's just frustrating. We can be so great. We would be so great. Seriously. And it's been more than 2 months now.. that's a long time! How much longer is it going to be? Like come on. And we actually hung out a lot over spring break.... I wonder how things will be once school starts again. Cuz yeah. This past week... you have told me a lot about missing us and wanting us back together.... but still not wanting a relationship. That's kinda confusing for me. But yet I would rather it be like this than be nothing. I love you.