so it's finally December! Yay! December is just always a good month. It's always cheerful and it's a time to be close with friends and family. Plus November is just sucky. And lately life has been kinda blah. But now that it is December, I am honestly thinking it will get better. Plus, icky swimming in school ends super soon! Finally! It has dragged and dragged and it is absolutely no fun. So I just kinda noticed that I really am in a pretty good mood. I'm quite happy :) even though my boyfriend is stupid and decided to stay home today for no good reason at all. But at least he said he will make it up to me somehow :) aaaand he better!(:
soooooo there's this guy friend of mine. who really picked a bad choice for a girlfriend. She is legit the biggest bitch I know. And today me and my bestfriend went and sat by them for a while. He seriously kept talking to us and paying attention to us, not her and it was the best thing ever! She was pissed. The look on her face was so funny <3
anyways, that's my good story of the day and it wasn't probably even that good but oh well :)
Friday, December 2, 2011
Wednesday, November 30, 2011
how good?
so have you ever had like those moments when you wonder if you really truly are good enough? or pretty enough? or fun enough? or reasonable enough? or interesting enough? Ever felt all those things at once? Now combine that with PMS, really bad PMS where you feel like you have absolutely no control over your feelings. Basically, last night wasn't a good night.
I kinda think it had started earlier in the day, at lunch, when not only did my boyfriend flat out say he didn't like the outfit I was wearing (the one that I finally really took time and put effort into it) but then my friend was seriously all up in his business, like in a way that even I don't do at school. I mean those things kinda took me back but I was like no no it's nothing, try to keep having a good day. And so I just let it roll of my shoulders and brushed it away. But then later he brings up the lovely Victoria's Secret fashion show. It wasn't me that brought it up, it was him. And he was all really happy about it. And yeah yeah guys will be guys but it was like come on. I don't even mention the attractiveness of other guys to you and here you are practically drooling over this. So of course that brought me down some. And then he tells me to just get over it. Not the right move sir. He does redeem himself somewhat by complimenting me. But still... and then the whole time that the fashion show is on... he. doesn't. text me. So I'm just kinda like okayy going to bed now. Don't really care if I'm awake to talk to him later or not. But he does text me like right when it's done. And then I find out he was talking to his friend the whole time... a girl friend. Notice the space. And yeah yeah I'm completely past the whole thing of them being pretty close. But then he chose to talk to her that whole time and then didn't even want to talk to me later. Which isn't that big of a deal but with my super sensitive, over emotional state, I took it all wrong. I mean I'm over it now. And actually kinda feel bad.
......the past couple days have been a little tense with me and him.... and I think we are still really good... but yeah.... he did make sure his time spent with me today was really good though. So it's alright :) I'm just all paranoid :P
I kinda think it had started earlier in the day, at lunch, when not only did my boyfriend flat out say he didn't like the outfit I was wearing (the one that I finally really took time and put effort into it) but then my friend was seriously all up in his business, like in a way that even I don't do at school. I mean those things kinda took me back but I was like no no it's nothing, try to keep having a good day. And so I just let it roll of my shoulders and brushed it away. But then later he brings up the lovely Victoria's Secret fashion show. It wasn't me that brought it up, it was him. And he was all really happy about it. And yeah yeah guys will be guys but it was like come on. I don't even mention the attractiveness of other guys to you and here you are practically drooling over this. So of course that brought me down some. And then he tells me to just get over it. Not the right move sir. He does redeem himself somewhat by complimenting me. But still... and then the whole time that the fashion show is on... he. doesn't. text me. So I'm just kinda like okayy going to bed now. Don't really care if I'm awake to talk to him later or not. But he does text me like right when it's done. And then I find out he was talking to his friend the whole time... a girl friend. Notice the space. And yeah yeah I'm completely past the whole thing of them being pretty close. But then he chose to talk to her that whole time and then didn't even want to talk to me later. Which isn't that big of a deal but with my super sensitive, over emotional state, I took it all wrong. I mean I'm over it now. And actually kinda feel bad.
......the past couple days have been a little tense with me and him.... and I think we are still really good... but yeah.... he did make sure his time spent with me today was really good though. So it's alright :) I'm just all paranoid :P
Tuesday, November 29, 2011
the pattern
so there is no way that any of you guys know about this, except for you T, but it's become really obvious that there is this pattern. With me and my boyfriend. Whenever we can't see each other very much, things start to get a lot harder. We start to not really be us anymore. And tension kinda starts getting high and stuff. All that leads to a break up. It's a pattern at this point. And now... with him skiing and therefore not really seeing me... there is the opportunity for the pattern to happen again.
Now while that does scare me... We are different this time. We both can feel it. I don't know how to explain it other than just saying that it feels different in the best way possible. so I still have faith and I still believe in us. This time can be different. We will take it day by day and keep on loving each other and we should make it through it. And honestly, with things like Christmas and JOBS and then the end of ski season and his birthday and spring break all happening at about the same time, I think there will be enough events that we are looking forward to together that that should help out at least a little too. We will just have to see. And even though it does worry me a little that the pattern could repeat yet again, I am feeling really good about us at this point :)
Now while that does scare me... We are different this time. We both can feel it. I don't know how to explain it other than just saying that it feels different in the best way possible. so I still have faith and I still believe in us. This time can be different. We will take it day by day and keep on loving each other and we should make it through it. And honestly, with things like Christmas and JOBS and then the end of ski season and his birthday and spring break all happening at about the same time, I think there will be enough events that we are looking forward to together that that should help out at least a little too. We will just have to see. And even though it does worry me a little that the pattern could repeat yet again, I am feeling really good about us at this point :)
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