I dunno, I guess I'm still kinda in shock with it all. Things had been on the up swing for us, so I thought at least. I've seen things on like Twitter and stuff about people's feelings pretty much suddenly changing and that being their worst fear. And ya know, I never thought that was going to happen to me. But yet here I am. And yeah a couple weeks is longer than a couple days, but in the scope of we've loved each other since '09, like that's such a short amount of time. I can't help but think it's temporary, like its situational. I'm not trying to say your feelings are wrong, I'm just saying I feel like you came to this conclusion pretty quickly and didn't even give me a chance. I've noticed that you are some one that once you get an idea in your head, you really stick to it. That's just how you are and it's not really a bad thing. But like you even said, it probably has a great deal to do with the distance lately. You're always so busy and don't have much spare time. And obviously I'm proud of you for working so hard. But I didn't realize it was enough to really change things.
And it hurts so much. I hate feeling like this, all broken and lost, and I hate admitting it just as much. But I don't know what to do with myself.
And don't try to tell me I've moved on. Because if I had, I woulda taken the opportunities of the boys that like me.
I guess more than anything, I'm confused. Like what now? You say we're "just friends" but wasn't that what you called us before? I'm just confused about a lot of it. And it's not fair to "stop" your feelings for me. You aren't supposed to fight feelings.
I'm honestly not really sure what to expect when we hang out later. Like I want it to be everything I said, but I'm still trying to figure out how to get over this weirdness that will probably be there. I want nothing more than to reconnect and lay in bed and talk about hopes and dreams and silly stuff until we fall asleep
