4 days left

So here we are. There are only 4 days left of summer. And it's bittersweet. I mean, I know this year will be great and really fun so I'm excited for it. But yet, summer went by way too fast and I wish we had more left. And seeing how fast summer went by makes me sad because I know that the school year will go by really fast too. And school always changes things and relationships. I hope it's for the best. I dunno I'm in a really weird mood right now.

movieee

I was gonna put the title as "you're next" but just in case you are reading this late at night, all alone, I figured I wouldn't scare you like that :P Anyways, I had a lot of fun! It was great to see you again! And that movie was actually legitly good! So yeah, great night!

Oh and when you said that of course you will try, I dunno that just really meant a lot and made me smile a little :) I really hope it works out! I wanna hang out again before school starts!

in case you haven't noticed, often times when I change paragraphs, I change who it is directed at :P
Goodnight!

stop

why'd you tell me to stop? I wasn't even going anywhere with it. Just, maybe some day. We used to say that more and I remembered it and just wanted to say it. Thinking about it now, you probably thought some crazy break down was about to happen. :P nope. Just maybe some day. I don't really blame you for thinking that though, if that was what you were thinking. But.... maybe some day... that's still true.

Anyways, I wasn't kidding when I had said that that was exactly what I needed. I mean, giving situations. It was perfect. It felt pretty good to know that you miss me and our friendship too. Don't worry, I'm not stupid and I know that when you said you miss me too, you meant it in a friend way. Unless you actually did mean it the other way too, in which case I would like it if you told me that :P But I realize that was more than likely not the case. ...I really do love our friendship. But.... I still wish there was more. Maybe I should have just stopped before saying that. Because I still understand our situation. Nothing.

untitled

now you're the one hurting us.



but now I understand better. And it sounds like school will really help. And that's in just a week. So I can't wait! Barely seeing each other affects every relationship/friendship so school and activities will help, for sure

far

I think I've gotten more independent, even just in the past couple days. I can change my mood myself, without needing other people to. I mean, other people could definitely say/do things to affect my mood. But I can control it myself if need be. I've figured out how to make myself happy. And a fair amount of that comes back to just letting things go. Things that aren't worth being upset over. Choose to be happy. I'm proud of how I've handled myself lately. It's a great improvement. I've definitely come a far ways recently. I'm proud of that too. I have a good feeling about this year :) I mean, honestly, anything could happen and right now... I think I'm okay with that :) I mean, if we get back together, great! But if not, I'm still doing pretty good by myself.     ok and I'd be lying if I said that I'm not hoping this new-found independence and control and inner happiness didn't help things with us. Because... honestly... I think this is what I have needed this entire time. Even back when we were dating. I needed the ability to be independent and make myself happy. I depended on you too much for that happiness. I didn't really have the ability to just let the little things go. But I think I've mostly got that now. And I think it would make our relationship better. It would make any relationship better. Now I don't really know for sure what your reasons were for breaking up. But I kinda have a feeling that some of this stuff had at least something to do with it. I got upset over little shit way too often which lead to pointless fights and more stress for you and I depended on you for my happiness too much which put pressure on you. I was probably annoying and needy. And I'm sorry for that :/ But I guess I can't really do anything about it now. Maybe some day I will get to show you how I've changed and make it up to you. I hope I get that chance.