Some thoughts

I do still hope and want it to be you and I in the end. But... Sooner or later, I think I'm just going to give up on that.

I don't know what you want or what's going through your mind with that. I'm still wanting it to be us. I want it to be that you get your exploring phase out and done with and then it can be back to you and me. Then whether we end up getting married or end up breaking up again, at least we had another shot. It's worth another go. 

Goodnight.

Nights are always the worst. They are when all the dark thoughts come out to play. Sometimes I want to go to bed at like 8 just to get away from them. 

talk

I think our talk about my future and college and stuff actually did kinda help. You made a good point about hobbies just staying hobbies and not being jobs. That actually sunk in pretty well. It's still just kinda frustrating and well upsetting that I don't really know what to do, but I think that talk got me a little closer to figuring it out. So thank you for that :)

Can't help but notice that you've been a little weird. But you're sick. So it could just be that.     :/

202 and going down

That's how many days are left until move in day!! And I can't wait! I really wish it could be like tomorrow or this weekend or something. I would love that. It'll be interesting to live with you guys. I think it's going to be a ton of fun though :) I'm thinking that that will be when the chance of us goes up significantly. That first at least like week I'm sure will be a big adjustment time. I think it's gonna take a while for it to sink in that this isn't just like a sleepover and that we are actually living together for the next year. It's gonna be so different but I think it's going to be great and I am so excited! Like beyond!!!!

glass

Like what is going on? Zach never just says ok when I smile at him. This is weird. On top of an already blah night, this is really weird. I did have a really good time with him though. We had a good time. He seemed to be fairly loving. And I love sitting on his lap.

Hey, made it through a (small) post of using names instead of just you

Really

Haaaa sometimes I feel really stupid. 

blustery

I really hope you make it home ok. It's nasty out there.