immbflc

I really hope that you are still looking at this. Because there is stuff that I really want to tell you, but I don't want to push too hard. I know you are probably needing some space right now and so you don't need me trying too hard.

I really miss you. I miss my best friend like crazy. I know I really messed up. I understand. I feel so bad about it. I just... want to let you know that I have been seriously torn up about this. And it sucks. I want my best friend back. But I know it's up to you. Because I hurt you. ....can we please try to get back to being best friends? Please? :( I guess that sounds pretty desperate, but I guess I kinda am. I love you

6 months.

Today, Saturday July 27th, marks 6 months since we broke up. That's half a year. That is such a large amount of time. And truly, it is bittersweet. Bitter because it makes me sad and I still don't go a day without missing us. But it is also a little sweet because we are now thisclose to being best friends and... I have made it this far. Emotionally, I have gone through so much but I am still here, head held high, stronger than ever. I mean, I still get sad. It happens quite often actually. Like yesterday at work, with all the roses for sale, I remembered last summer when you bought me some. And then I thought about how you probably bought Sena some and yeah that was rough. 

6 months ago, I had no idea that things would be the way they are now. It was really rough, to say the least. But I pulled through and things have gotten better. I had no idea what the next 6 months was going to bring, what life was going to throw at me.

I guess... I guess I just wish that we were moving closer to getting together. But you're in a relationship. And because of that, I know that we aren't going anywhere. And at this point, I can't wait for the day to come that we have a chance again and can work towards us again. I mean, yes, I still wish maybe some day was today, but even just us having a chance would be amazing. I want us so bad. I want to date my (almost :P) bestfriend. 

I guess we will just have to see what happens. I'm really curious about what all is going to happen in the next 6 months. Maybe by the end of it we will be dating? Who knows.

But there is one thing that hasn't changed, and never will. I love you :)

T

I know this will all probably take a fair amount of time... But I really hope we get back to being super good best friends again. Because, as cheesy as it sounds, I can't imagine life without you. Seriously, you're amazing and I love you. So I really hope we are able to move on from this and that things will go up from here. Maybe we could have some bonding time again soon? That would be great because I miss you!

forgiveness

I'm sorry. Please forgive me.

happy sad

9.3   That made me really happy :) The day yesterday was great and I seriously can't wait to go back. Can we pretty please go again soon?? Pwease? :)    we have been doing really well lately and have gotten quite a bit closer too. And that had definitely contributed to me being pretty happy recently :)

but... I really wish I could share it with my best friend. Not being able to talk to you and not knowing what is going on... it's starting to make me sad. I don't know what to do anymore. And I'm starting to worry that I'm going to lose my best friend.

head still spinning

So I had a really great day. We finally went to Valley Fair and it was a blast :) Even though I seriously was scared a lot... it was still really good, by the end I was definitely having fun on the rides too. So thank you! And... at one point when I think we were just walking around, I stopped and thought to myself... I can feel it... us being best friends. I felt like we were. But who knows if we actually are? :P

and then afterwards... big brother was good. One whole episode of it :P but hey, at least we finally started. And then.... I'm not exactly sure what happened.

ts

so I get it, you're going through some shit, but you could at least let me know before disappearing for days on end. You're not the only one going through things. And now I always start to freak out that you're avoiding me because there is something bad you have to tell me. Because that has been the case more than once. But whatever.

creating titles is hard

it's like... I kinda want to talk about this, but I don't want it to go poorly and mess things up. But... this weekend... with you and I... personally, I really liked it. :) surprise, surprise :P just... yeah :) And I have been actually pretty darn happy since this weekend, which is great :)

I keep having quite a few dreams about you lately. Who knows if there is actually a deeper meaning behind them or not, but I think they just mean that I miss you :P

summer has been going by too quickly! please slow down

cheers to the weekend :)

I'll be honest, going into this weekend, I really didn't know what to expect. I was hoping for the best, but I just didn't know how things would go. And now, I had a great weekend! It was so much fun. And I'm happy :) it probably went as good as it possibly could have. so yay!