What do you think of when you just can't fall asleep?

Yet again, I had a really good time with you :) when I first got there, i was a little anxious because it was kind of a rough start. But then we actually started talking and such and it went up from there. I feel like we bring something good out of each other. And spending the night was very nice, even though it was unexpected. :) it's such a like real life experience and it was real good. There was a lot of good energy between us. Just great to see you :) I really enjoy being there. Definitely a big fan of your place :) p.s. You snore when you nap :P :)

I'll miss you in the June gloom too

Being bored out of my mind makes me feel like I'm actually out of my mind... Not like crazy, but just not myself. It's like I've been drained away from myself. If that makes sense? I'll have nothing interesting to say because I'm so bored. Which sucks. I want to have good conversations. I don't want to feel unlike myself. I'd like to think that I'm usually fairly energetic and happy and such and I'm just not those things while bored. I'm bored so I become boring. Which is so lame. I hate it

But I got to turn it around and I actually accomplished some things. And then I was excited to actually like talk to you about more interesting things and you were asleep :P oh well, tomorrow is still there 

Which I'm quite excited about by the way. It's been almost a week since I've seen you (for more than 2 min). I've actually missed you quite a bit. Look forward to seeing you again :) I try to stay in that more positive mindset but it can be difficult. I mean I really would have liked to see you today but it didn't work out and the day was still decent. Hopeful tomorrow will be great :) 

...I guess I'm just.. Anxious about what things will be like once she moves in. I'm having a hard time imagining it working out any other way than us not seeing much of each other, which really makes me sad. Way back before everything changed, I had really been looking forward to the summer of us living together and now it's going to be pretty much the complete opposite of that and I think I'm still trying to cope with losing that. I feel like I don't have much to look forward to right now. Like at all

When the city goes silent, the ringing in my ears gets violent

I dunno, being stuck with my own thoughts for too long doesn't usually seem to be a good thing. I can float along the surface of life really quite well. But during the quiet, alone time.. Composure breaks down. I want to do more but I'm stuck in the hyvee routine. And I can't just not work; I need the money. But I wish I didn't have to, so I could do whatever, whenever. It's so restricting some times. The daily grind can get so boring and monotonous. And I'm still frightened of life after college because I don't know what I want to know. I don't know what to do that will make me happy and what will allow me to enjoy the daily routine, at least when it comes to a career and supporting myself. I dunno. I wish I knew what the right moves are. I think that's what it comes down too. I'm not necessarily afraid of failure, I just want to know what the right thing to do is. But there's not really any feasible way to know that for sure. We are all going off of hunches... I feel like there's a strong possibility that I will stumble through my twenties. I dunno, maybe I will end up double majoring so I have options once I finish school. I wish college wasn't so expensive because then I would stay longer and learn more and figure shit out and absorb all this knowledge because after college, knowledge is power. Okay, this crazy train needs to be stopped. I'm where I need to be right now. I've got a year of college under my belt, and I am doing just fine. I'll figure it out