When the city goes silent, the ringing in my ears gets violent

I dunno, being stuck with my own thoughts for too long doesn't usually seem to be a good thing. I can float along the surface of life really quite well. But during the quiet, alone time.. Composure breaks down. I want to do more but I'm stuck in the hyvee routine. And I can't just not work; I need the money. But I wish I didn't have to, so I could do whatever, whenever. It's so restricting some times. The daily grind can get so boring and monotonous. And I'm still frightened of life after college because I don't know what I want to know. I don't know what to do that will make me happy and what will allow me to enjoy the daily routine, at least when it comes to a career and supporting myself. I dunno. I wish I knew what the right moves are. I think that's what it comes down too. I'm not necessarily afraid of failure, I just want to know what the right thing to do is. But there's not really any feasible way to know that for sure. We are all going off of hunches... I feel like there's a strong possibility that I will stumble through my twenties. I dunno, maybe I will end up double majoring so I have options once I finish school. I wish college wasn't so expensive because then I would stay longer and learn more and figure shit out and absorb all this knowledge because after college, knowledge is power. Okay, this crazy train needs to be stopped. I'm where I need to be right now. I've got a year of college under my belt, and I am doing just fine. I'll figure it out