Change

Yeah tonight it's harder

Better

I'm doing a lot better than I thought I would be. It hasn't been too hard of an adjustment yet

Late Night Thoughts

Is there a chance it will ever be just me?

...I hate that I question some of the things I do. But I can't unthink things. My mind keeps going. 

I can't tell if I blindly trust too much 

I give everyone the benefit of doubt and want to see the best in everyone and sometimes I wonder if those things end up coming around to bite me in the ass. 

I don't know if I can stop myself. 

It's in God's hands. He has a plan. I can put trust in that. There's a reason for everything 

Sometimes I don't know if I actually miss you or if I just think that I should. Don't get me wrong, sometimes I miss you with all of my being, I just have a lovely tendency of second guessing myself

Composure is key 

Where is the tipping point 

I also love with my entire being. I throw myself into it

Sometime I wonder if I actually get over things quickly or I just subconsciously mask them up and push them out of my mind to avoid them

Just me

Sometimes I feel like I'm an astronaut. Sometimes I wish I was an astronaut

I want to be a fun person, happy and full of life. Excited and funny and silly. I want to make people smile

Even if sometime is bothering me and I'm sad, I am glad that I am still able to allow myself to be happy in the moment and have fun. Even if I later return to sad (not unlike today) at least I made the most of the moment and allowed myself to be happy

I know that you can't hear me but baby I need you to save me tonight

Honesty

I don't care how much the truth may hurt, I just want people to be honest with me. That's how trust and respect are built. I always deserve the truth. I just want honesty

Strong

I am proud that I'm so strong and resilient and don't let myself give up. Because if I wasn't like this... I don't know that I would still be here.