you know what is one of the worst feelings ever? Being mad at your boyfriend and having your best friend mad at you at the same exact time. It sucks. It leaves you with your head spinning and your heart aching. You just don't know what you are supposed to do. Especially when you keep getting disappointed that no one is telling you that it will be ok. It sucks. You just want to curl up in bed and stay there. Dealing with both of them at the same time is just so completely draining. In every way possible. Emotional, Mental, Physical.
it also sucks when just two days later, you get in a similar situation, just switched around. Got the boyfriend mad at you and you are mad at your best friend. Thankfully, that was solved much quicker than the other night. Unfortunately, it was also really hard and it hurt to have him so mad at me and have him be so obviously so mad at me in person. It sucked. But then things got better real quick and I ended up going over to his house for a few hours that night. He definitely made up for it :)
Saturday, November 12, 2011
Friday, November 11, 2011
boring November
so I'm pretty sure I posted something kinda like this in October, complaining about November coming up. Well here I am now. Sitting part of the way through with November, ready to complain about it again.
So we are at the point in November where it kinda feeling like you are stuck between seasons. Almost like you are living the same kinda day over and over, in more ways than just the weather. It's like too cold to really feel like fall anymore but yet it's too warm for sure for it to be winter. And I am almost kinda honestly ready for winter to just get here. It's like the weather is teasing us, saying "oh look, I'm not as cold and snowy as winter yet but I sure as heck am not warm." It's stupid. And the days have been seeming to drag on. Thanksgiving is still kinda out of reach so it's just kinda blah. Thanksgiving is the thing to be looking forward to at this point and it is still almost 2 weeks away. Once Thanksgiving has gotten here, things start to get cheerier. It will be holiday season. Winter will finally start to kick in and there will be snow finally. No one likes to stare at dead grass for days on end. It's depressing and just boring. I'm ready for things to start to get interesting.
So we are at the point in November where it kinda feeling like you are stuck between seasons. Almost like you are living the same kinda day over and over, in more ways than just the weather. It's like too cold to really feel like fall anymore but yet it's too warm for sure for it to be winter. And I am almost kinda honestly ready for winter to just get here. It's like the weather is teasing us, saying "oh look, I'm not as cold and snowy as winter yet but I sure as heck am not warm." It's stupid. And the days have been seeming to drag on. Thanksgiving is still kinda out of reach so it's just kinda blah. Thanksgiving is the thing to be looking forward to at this point and it is still almost 2 weeks away. Once Thanksgiving has gotten here, things start to get cheerier. It will be holiday season. Winter will finally start to kick in and there will be snow finally. No one likes to stare at dead grass for days on end. It's depressing and just boring. I'm ready for things to start to get interesting.
Thursday, November 10, 2011
the possibility
so tonight. there was the possibility that my boyfriend could have slept over. I'll explain.
it was a long shot from the beginning, so I'm really not all that surprised that it didn't end up happening. But my dad had this thing he was going to go up north for like 4 days straight this week. My mom was really considering going with him, just to get away from everything for a little bit. And before you go thinking that leaving us home alone for 4 days would be irresponsible, don't. We would have been at school most of the time and we are old enough to take care of ourselves and things around the house just fine. Plus, I can drive. It's the only way it really would have been able to work well. So we really could have done it and been just fine. And I honestly think it would have been fun. Not just because it would mean no supervision, but it would be cool to see how independent we really can be. It would have been an interesting experience.
So yes, I have 2 siblings. So that makes things more complicated for the potential sleepover. But we got things figured out. I would have had them go spend the night at a friend's house so I could have had some alone time so I wouldn't go crazy from them :P It woulda worked well too if everything had gone right. I coulda easily gotten him here and gotten him outta here before anyone would have had any idea.
Now, don't go thinking I'm some slut that wanted to have sex tonight. Because we honestly wouldn't have done that. We had both agreed that we would have wanted to keep it as innocent as possible. We wanted our first sleepover to just be nice and sweet and loving and innocent. Just having the experience of sleeping with each other over night was all that either of us wanted at this point. It would have been a great opportunity for us to become closer and stronger as a couple. It would have been absolutely amazing.
Obviously, this didn't happen. Turns out my dad opted out of going on that business trip. So no sleepover. And while I'm kinda sad it didn't happen, I'm not disappointed. It was a long shot and our first sleepover will happen some time in the future. It's just a matter of time.
I wish you were here right now <3
it was a long shot from the beginning, so I'm really not all that surprised that it didn't end up happening. But my dad had this thing he was going to go up north for like 4 days straight this week. My mom was really considering going with him, just to get away from everything for a little bit. And before you go thinking that leaving us home alone for 4 days would be irresponsible, don't. We would have been at school most of the time and we are old enough to take care of ourselves and things around the house just fine. Plus, I can drive. It's the only way it really would have been able to work well. So we really could have done it and been just fine. And I honestly think it would have been fun. Not just because it would mean no supervision, but it would be cool to see how independent we really can be. It would have been an interesting experience.
So yes, I have 2 siblings. So that makes things more complicated for the potential sleepover. But we got things figured out. I would have had them go spend the night at a friend's house so I could have had some alone time so I wouldn't go crazy from them :P It woulda worked well too if everything had gone right. I coulda easily gotten him here and gotten him outta here before anyone would have had any idea.
Now, don't go thinking I'm some slut that wanted to have sex tonight. Because we honestly wouldn't have done that. We had both agreed that we would have wanted to keep it as innocent as possible. We wanted our first sleepover to just be nice and sweet and loving and innocent. Just having the experience of sleeping with each other over night was all that either of us wanted at this point. It would have been a great opportunity for us to become closer and stronger as a couple. It would have been absolutely amazing.
Obviously, this didn't happen. Turns out my dad opted out of going on that business trip. So no sleepover. And while I'm kinda sad it didn't happen, I'm not disappointed. It was a long shot and our first sleepover will happen some time in the future. It's just a matter of time.
I wish you were here right now <3
Sunday, November 6, 2011
Spring Break
so I totally realize I'm about to blog about something that isn't for another four months but I've been thinking about it today and stuff so yeah.
So spring break this year for us anyways is the end of March. And this year our music department in going to South Carolina for a trip. We are mostly just going to do site seeing and performing. I'm in our concert choir :) but it will be sooo much fun! It's like a vacation with friends since quite a few of my friends are going. Which means we will get to room together and more than likely do everything together. And I'm sure by the end of the last day, we will be glad we are going to get home and be alone. Cuz for 6 solid days, you will literally have no alone time. You're alone til will for the most part just be when you are using the bathroom. At this point, we can't even guarantee that you will be the only one in the bathroom while you shower. Because four girls, one bathroom, a very limited amount of time to get ready, will just be chaotic. South Carolina is a place I have been wanting to go for quite a while so this is going to be an amazing trip. And I really can't wait! It will be quite the experience too. We will be on the bus for a looongg time. Google maps says its a 22 hour drive. Sleeping on the bus oughta be interesting. Sleeping in general will actually be pretty interesting. And we might be running on coffee by the end of it but dang! It will be so much fun!!
Anyways, another reason I am bringing this up is because my boyfriend is going somewhere over spring break too. Except he is going to Colorado, not South Carolina. Which means that because of time zones, there will be a 2 hour time difference between us. At first, that doesn't sound so bad but when you think about it, it's like oh. I'll be getting up 2 hours before he does and going to bed 2 hours before he does. And those are going to be some of the few times we will be able to talk so it will probably be fairly difficult. And I am not going to ruin my trip by texting someone all day. Nooo. I want to fully enjoy it. So I'm sure there will be a lot of texts that are just summaries of each of our days and goodnights. And there will probably be quite a few occasional "I miss you"s and "I love you"s when we have time to squeeze in a text. So that will be a change but I honestly think we will be busy enough that it won't be completely horrible. It just won't be what we are used to. And I know that we are strong enough to make it through it. There's no way we won't. It'll still be weird though. I have a feeling there will be a lot of schedule overlaps that are just long enough to be like he will text me at night and I'll be like oh I'm actually gonna go to bed now or in the morning he will text me goodmorning and I will be like oh sorry we are just about to go leave to do something. But like I said, we will be just fine :) and I also don't think the days we will be gone will be the same either. And we both get the joy of having driving days so I'm sure we will talk as much as we can on those. And when we are both back, we will talk and talk and talk and it will be great :)
when I close my eyes, I see you. no matter where I am. <3
So spring break this year for us anyways is the end of March. And this year our music department in going to South Carolina for a trip. We are mostly just going to do site seeing and performing. I'm in our concert choir :) but it will be sooo much fun! It's like a vacation with friends since quite a few of my friends are going. Which means we will get to room together and more than likely do everything together. And I'm sure by the end of the last day, we will be glad we are going to get home and be alone. Cuz for 6 solid days, you will literally have no alone time. You're alone til will for the most part just be when you are using the bathroom. At this point, we can't even guarantee that you will be the only one in the bathroom while you shower. Because four girls, one bathroom, a very limited amount of time to get ready, will just be chaotic. South Carolina is a place I have been wanting to go for quite a while so this is going to be an amazing trip. And I really can't wait! It will be quite the experience too. We will be on the bus for a looongg time. Google maps says its a 22 hour drive. Sleeping on the bus oughta be interesting. Sleeping in general will actually be pretty interesting. And we might be running on coffee by the end of it but dang! It will be so much fun!!
Anyways, another reason I am bringing this up is because my boyfriend is going somewhere over spring break too. Except he is going to Colorado, not South Carolina. Which means that because of time zones, there will be a 2 hour time difference between us. At first, that doesn't sound so bad but when you think about it, it's like oh. I'll be getting up 2 hours before he does and going to bed 2 hours before he does. And those are going to be some of the few times we will be able to talk so it will probably be fairly difficult. And I am not going to ruin my trip by texting someone all day. Nooo. I want to fully enjoy it. So I'm sure there will be a lot of texts that are just summaries of each of our days and goodnights. And there will probably be quite a few occasional "I miss you"s and "I love you"s when we have time to squeeze in a text. So that will be a change but I honestly think we will be busy enough that it won't be completely horrible. It just won't be what we are used to. And I know that we are strong enough to make it through it. There's no way we won't. It'll still be weird though. I have a feeling there will be a lot of schedule overlaps that are just long enough to be like he will text me at night and I'll be like oh I'm actually gonna go to bed now or in the morning he will text me goodmorning and I will be like oh sorry we are just about to go leave to do something. But like I said, we will be just fine :) and I also don't think the days we will be gone will be the same either. And we both get the joy of having driving days so I'm sure we will talk as much as we can on those. And when we are both back, we will talk and talk and talk and it will be great :)
when I close my eyes, I see you. no matter where I am. <3
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)