brighter note

today was a good day :) and tomorrow should be even better ;)

emotional

so it's been brought to my attention that I'm emotional and sensitive... too emotional and sensitive. And I mean I have known that I have always been like that but I hadn't really realized how bad it had gotten. Until what pretty much felt like an intervention. I'm not mad, so don't you guys go thinking that I am. But surprise surprise, it did hurt quite a bit. Not sure if that is acceptable or not. But I actually get it now. I mean it has been briefly brought up before but once my boyfriend said that he can't fully be himself around me because he can't joke around that much because I take things too hard really struck me. Hope you followed all of that. But yeah that's not ok and I know that's not ok so I want to fix it. You might be thinking "oh changing for a boy is wrong blah blah blah" but I am not changing for him. Well maybe I am a bit but I am changing for me too. And it's not like it's a bad change like at all. But I need to get stronger and be happier and by "loosening up" I can do that. Of course it's not like I was always being sensitive on purpose. Which makes my goal even harder to get to. But I have to do it. I have to. So just bear with me. Please?

wrong

....what's wrong with me?

words cannot explain

All I want to say is that my boyfriend is amazing, plain and simple <3 I love you so much, Z :)

Too much inspiration

Yesterday was pretty much one of the worst days ever. Nothing, and I really do mean nothing, was good or went well. It completely sucked and I felt like I couldn't do anything right. And so surprise surprise, I wrote another poem last night. Don't read too much into it because I was pulling from another person's feelings just as much as I was from my own. And don't judge because it's probably pretty bad.

Stars

I look up into

the night sky

so many stars

so beautiful.

They stare back

at me, little me.

Each one has

a wish.

Each star has

a reason to hope

a reason to believe

to keep me going.

They whisper

to me, only me,

their secrets

strong and bright.

I look up with

longing, hoping

they would take me

away from here

But they shine on

and tell me to do

the same thing.

I am strong.

It gets better.

The starts told me so.

They have seen it all.

They made it through.

The tears are gone,

brushed away.

I wish the stars goodnight

and I go on.

old poems :P

well looky here I found some poems from last year. Warning: they may be really bad

Can I go Back?

Can I go back

back to the days,

before I realized growing up

ain't that great

back to the days

of Scooby Doo,

coloring books,

and pigtails.

Back to before

the world became old

when everyone was your friend

and no one hurt you

Back to the days

when the term

broken heart

had no meaning

All I wanted was to be a big girl

But now all I want is to go back

When everything made sense,

When everything was simple

Can I go back to the time of dreams?

Back to the time of wonder

Back to the time of happy

Back to the best time of all

What Happened To Love

It started off good,

Like a gift from above.

Never thought you would

Take back all your love.

I watch life go by.

I tell people I'm fine.

But maybe it's a lie,

Because you aren't mine

I'm stuck in the past,

Before you left.

It all happened so fast.

You committed a theft.

And now I wonder why

I no longer cry

My Season

The heat of the sun

Back in my element

So happy inside

This is where I belong

Flip flop tan lines

Sun burnt cheeks

The smell of the beach

The smell of sunscreen

Thunder rumbling 

Lightning flashing

Washing the Earth

Washing me

Pines surrond me

The glow of a campfire

I look up above

And marvel at the stars

Many Memories 

Each one perfect

So many memories

Only of summer

The cold isn't right

The heat is the best

Every winter I look forward

To the approaching summer

So peaceful, so calm

This is my time, my time in the sun

Nothing could be better

I love it so much.