Saturday, May 11, 2013

chf, chm

It's crazy how fast things can really change and it's crazy how much they change. Thinking about it, last Sunday after prom, I was maybe not going to talk to him for a while since things weren't going that well and stuff. But then this week has been great and we have been talking a lot and all that. So really it went from possibly bad to really good in probably a matter of hours. So it's just crazy to think of how fast things change. This time it was definitely for the better though! Honestly, I think we have found something that really works for both of us, that we both want, and makes us both happy. And that is what I have wanted this whole time. For us to find what really works and so far, this has really worked and we both love it and yeah I just think it's a good situation. And him saying that he doesn't want things to change if/when they date, that gives me some reassurance that he really wants things to stay like this so they won't get ripped out from under me. That's one of the best parts. Knowing he wants it like this so it won't get taken away from me. The other best part is that I have been truly happy. Happiness is amazing.

I don't know when he will see this or when I might do this... But I kinda want to ask him a question or two or three... This past week, with how we have been and all the happiness and such, does it make our future chance better? Or like, is it easier to see us again in the future now? And... do you think we have been more like the old us this week, when we were happy together and such? I know that things with Sena still have to run their course first. I'm not jumping ahead of the current situation. I am just curious. So if you do see this before I get the chance/work up the nerve to ask you, go ahead and just answer them. I probably won't tell you about this post. You'll have to find it on your own :P


something else I have been a little hesitant to point out... because I'm afraid it will cause something to change and I seriously do not want anything to change, I love exactly how things are... not everything has been just friend stuff. You realize that, right? I'm doing my best to not really read into it. The most I have read into it is that we still have something (which we already knew) and I have a cute butt (also something we already knew) :P

when you guys asked me about who I'm closer to and tell more stuff to.... Honestly I think I tell you more. I mean, now that I know you read this, there have been quite a few parts that I have written specifically directed to you. Most of this post has been directed towards you. Sometimes I think I use this as a way to let you know what I am thinking and how I feel without actually having to say it directly to you. Because sometimes that is a little scary. Not talking to you, that isn't scary, but sometimes it takes a lot of nerve to say some things and on here it is just easier. I can write it all down and get everything out and then you look at it and process it and then talk to me about it. I've been using this to communicate even more with you. You see all of this and I don't think T hardly ever looks at this anymore. I tell you more. I tell you a lot over text and in person and then I also tell you stuff on here. I write stuff on here knowing that you will see it sooner or later.


............I am lonely tonight. Days like today where we hardly talk kinda suck. Especially since I work tomorrow so we probably won't talk much tomorrow either. .....now that I have a job, I think it would be really cute and nice and such to get off and find a note on my car. But yeah.

I am still doing my best to tell you everything. Because I mean we are still close and such. I'm sorry if sometimes it is too much.

So yeah, when you see this, text me about the questions I have and any response to the rest of this. This ended up being a rather long post and I hadn't even really meant to say that much. Oh well :P

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