....that is such a long time. You realize that, right? It's been forever but yet it's still gonna be "a while" before we even have a chance again. And yes, I get it, this has to get taken care of first... But it's going so slow. Like.... ok here's another thing I'm a little afraid to ask... How likely is it that you guys are going to date? Last I knew, it was like an 85%. What is it now? Because you have said a few times about when you guys date but it's been a while and you guys still aren't dating. So what? Like grr. Scowley dog all the way :P I'm just.... frustrated. Partly at myself, partly at the situation, maybe even partly at you. Because, in case you haven't noticed, I have been in a weird mood all weekend. And it sucks! Because I know it doesn't help and I know I need to be happy and I have been trying to get myself to stop but it hasn't worked that much! Like last night, I seriously crawled under my covers, grabbed doggie, and gave myself a pep talk and told myself to stop, that I'm being stupid. Because seriously, last week was great so why the hell can't I just stay happy. This weekend has sucked. I really really hope that this week is like last week. Please? As far as being frustrated with the situation... I think I mostly just wish things were getting figured out faster. Because it's almost like I can see our chance being pushed farther and farther into the future. And like.... I am not purposely waiting around for us, I'm really not. I just know how great we were and still are and I know what I want. I just can't have it right now. Actually it sounds like I can't have it anytime in the near future either. But ugh seriously this week I was doing so good with accepting how things are and coming to terms with the situation and then this weekend came and I got back down again. Josie! This week was so good! You were happy! Things with you guys were good! That's what you have wanted this whole time! If you can't have him, you want the next best thing, which is exactly what you got this week! Quit with this bull shit! Ugh. Maybe I just need a heart to heart. I think that's why I liked our car visits so much. We had our heart to hearts then. I miss our car visits. I work til 8 tonight... one tonight would be nice.... I know that's a long shot. A really long shot. But I figured it was at least worth a shot. I just... I miss you. I miss us. I want you. I want us. I really do love how things were last week. I do not want that to change, I want this week to be like that too. I guess I just still wish you and I could be together. And I still wish something I could say would make a difference but I think I have said pretty much everything and nothing has changed. But let's see what fate has in store. I guess.
....Honestly, I do think eventually we will get back together again. Maybe I'm crazy or just a hopeful romantic, but I think it will happen. I think we will get a second chance. Because I mean... it's obvious we still have feelings for each other and there is still something there. So some day. .......................what do you think? I know you have said that once things with Sena are done, we will have a possibility again. But yeah. You will probably just give me a schpeel about how there is no way to guess what will happen because anything is possible blah blah blah so maybe I just shouldn't even ask :P
I guess I maybe feel a little bit better now. But either way I need to be done because I work in just less than an hour. Joy :P
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