Only know you love her when you let her go, and you let her go

Do you just want me to give up completely on us? I feel like the answer is yes. And ya know, 2 weeks ago, hell even 1 week ago, I really didn't think that was possible for me to do. But yet here I am, feeling like I have no choice but to give up. And I really don't want to because I'm stubborn as hell. But idk. It's like even talking to me is too much. And like it sucks, because I know you're still in there. Under the cold shoulder, it's still you. And so obviously I want to crack that shell and idk, have things be like before honestly. I mean we can leave out the coupley stuff and whatever, but like just talk to me. And you said we would still hang out. You promised even. And I believe you meant it. But I dunno, there hasn't been much effort. And I mean yes, you've been working like all the time. So there's that. I guess my question right now is how much do I give up on. Because you're doing a pretty good job of pushing me away. Which hurts. It kills me inside. But I have no choice but to deal. 

My biggest question is what if you keep pushing me away, and the distance between us starts to become extensive, and then you realize it, I'm gone, and in that moment, you feel like you've made a mistake. What then? Because I feel like that could happen. I've always been here and said I always will be. So what happens if that goes away? You lose the security of my constantness. I don't want you to ever feel like you can't randomly text me and tell me crazy things like that. Even if we haven't talked in weeks, I'll always listen. Wow it pained me to say haven't talked in weeks. But I dunno, at this rate, I can't help but feel like we are going to start to talk less and less. Unless you start giving us being friends a better chance. Which like sucks, I never thought this would happen. But I'm getting better at not telling you every story or funny thing right away. Much less double texting. Much more waiting for a response first. Silence speaks volumes. 

I don't want to drift further apart. But I'm not sure if you're giving me an option.