Everything I need, and nothing that I don't

Ya know, and I don't necessarily mean this in a bad way, but I think 2014 was my best year yet. So many fun events that year and it was overall a happy year. I was happy for most of it. I mean senior jobs, New York, senior prom, graduation while sitting next to my best friend, Virginia beach vacation, move in, all the fun times we had together. That year was fun thing after fun thing and we were really good that year. 

2015 wasn't a bad year. It just wasn't overly eventful and had its ups and downs. Moving back in with my family was probably the biggy. And it's now been 5 months and I still don't have my own freaking room and I'm so ready for that. 

And I don't know what to think of what 2016 will be like. So far, hasn't been that great. Had some pretty good days and a couple really good days. But now there's been a growing string of not so good days. So 2 months in, this year is just ok. Which isn't to say that I don't hope and think that things can get better from here. I mean we have gotten through tough things before and I don't have any doubts that we can get back to great, as long as we both want that. It will just take some time. And for now, I really am good with just friends. There's really no other way for it to be besides not even friends and I don't want that. I hope you don't want that either. I think friends is a good place for us for the time being. And by the end of the year, we will either be in a better place together, or we will have drifted farther apart. It can go either way and it's just going to happen. But I'm really starting to understand that we can't be what I want right now. Maybe someday, but not now. So friends would be great because that's better than losing you completely. 

As far as other possible predictions, goals, hopes, etc for 2016, I hope it gets happier from here. I want it to be a good year. Still 10 whole months to go. I want to find myself more and keep working towards goals. I want to take more time for art. I want to get back to having hobbies other than Netflix haha. I want to take more pictures and see more things. I think that maybe by the end of the year I'll also possibly have my own place. The thought still kinda scares me but it would be nice to have my own space again, away from family. This goal or whatever will probably have to get an update after I have my own room again, but I'm not sure how much it'll change. Maybe I'll just push it back into spring 2017. Because having my own place is definitely different than having my own room and I want that freedom again. Not that living here has many rules and restrictions, but it would be nice to do whatever I want whenever I want again. Be alone. Have people over, have certain special people over. I miss that freedom, and the fact that no one was there judging my decisions. Ik my parents trust me and allow it and such but I get shit if I'm leaving after like 10:30. And clearly, for me, leaving after that isn't a big deal since I'm up til 1 to 2 most nights anyways. I miss late night shenanigans. And other late night things, if you know what I mean :P

So yeah, hoping for a good year. It started off with a great day with you and has kinda been downhill since. But like I said, 10 months left for a great upswing.

And as for a more so current update, today was better. Talking to you was quite nice and reassured me that things will get better. But I can tell you still need some space. And I'm trying to prove I can back off. It'll just take some time for me to really get the hang of it. But I'm trying