honest

I'll be honest.... Before I came to school today, I prayed. For strength and guidance through the next couple days. Because while things between us have been actually really good the past couple days now, I still know that today and tomorrow he's hanging out with her and that they are probably going to get together some point really soon. And that sucks. I am trying to not think about it because whenever I do, I feel crushed. And seriously, I'm doing my best to not read into anything that goes on between him and I because I know he just wants to be friends. So there shouldn't be anything to read into. So I'll stop myself. Like how he wore those sweatpants today. They are just pants...... right? And yeah how I said I wouldn't talk to him much, I think for now that has been completely thrown out the window. I just... I don't know. I still wish one day everything will go back to how they were and he will hold me and tell me he loves me and we will be together and happy. And maybe that will happen some day. But for now I know I have to just get through this, on my own.