I need you back.

so I know last night was pretty bad. I got pretty bad. But I was just having a good time. I mean, yeah, I probably had more than I should have. But nothing bad happened. I don't want to get that bad again any time soon but I had fun for a while and I think I needed that. I really don't get why you are so mad at me. And if you lost respect for me... why? What did I do that was so bad? It's not like I do that every weekend. It was my first time. From what I remember and what I have heard, I was actually pretty fun and funny. Like I said, I don't want to get that bad again but at least I didn't do anything really crazy like streak or have sex or smoke weed. And if it really pissed you off that much, why didn't you try and stop me? Just saying. And really, do you even have the right to get mad at me for drinking? Obviously we aren't dating. None of my other friends had a problem with it. You don't get pissed at any of your other friends for getting drunk. What makes me different? I'm sorry if I did anything to you personally. Really, if there is anything I did to you, I'm sorry for it. But I'm not going to apologize for getting drunk. That was my choice and honestly doesn't have anything to do with you. Are you upset I was all over Josh? Why? Wouldn't you rather it be him than Troy or Brennan? Josh was being nice to me and supporting me and I knew I could trust him a lot more than most of the other guys there. Even drunk, I knew to stay away from Brennan and keep my clothes on and not do really stupid shit. So why does anything have to be different now? I'm sorry if I was a bitch in this. Can we please just be super best friends again? I've missed you today. I was really looking forward to us making more progress. I love you