rock bottom

.....I feel like I have hit rock bottom again. He says that I need to stop asking about us and smothering him and trying to make us better.... that I need to just live life... and that if we are meant to be, eventually we will be. But he doesn't know if we are meant to be. Right now, I just don't know what to do. I mean I do understand a lot of what he was saying... but like I still just want to be together. This all sucks. Still. And I don't think it's going to get better any time soon. I guess I kinda feel like everything has changed again and I have to stop doing a lot of the things I have been doing... and it sucks because I have no control. He knows that no matter what, he will get what he wants. I don't know if I will. And he says that our car visits will maybe have to stop. That it depends. But he won't tell me what. And that sucks because those have been the highlights of my life the past 4 weeks. So I don't want them to end. But maybe it would help. Idk. I just wish I knew if all this is going to be worth it in the end. I am so afraid that he will be the one that got away.
I miss us so much.