hard

....this is all so hard. The past week and a half have been so hard... Because he has pulled away... He's moving on... he said as much... and that one hurt so bad... He is asking someone else to prom... which really sucks.... I am having such a hard time moving on.... it hurts so bad.... I really don't want to fall into depression but honestly idk. Hopefully things get better soon. Otherwise I don't know how much more I can bend until I break... I really miss him and us.... I was so happy... Seriously, I was. And now I'm not. T, I get it when you say that it won't get better until I believe it will... but anytime I try to be hopeful things are going to turn around, they just get worse. Things have just gotten harder. Not easier. I still want us back. It's gone from "getting back together is the plan" to "if we are meant to be, we will get back together, if we don't, then we aren't meant to be". And that sucks. But honestly... I guess things have to get worse before they can get better... I hope things are on the way to getting better... I want to be okay again... But I have a feeling that really he wanted to break up so that he could see what else is out there... date other people... Because now there is this Sara chick and I bet they are going to end up going out... Which hurts really bad... I just hope our love stands strong and that I am still the best... but honestly I don't know. I have plenty of issues. But he loves me. So hopefully.... But I am really scared that we will never be us again. But something else I have noticed... now being Juniors in high school... relationships seem to usually last a long time... like months.... so if he were to go out with someone else, which I guess I don't know if he even will get to that point, bright side comment, it will probably last a while... But at least last I knew of, he doesn't even want a girlfriend. Who knows. Maybe if he does go out with someone else and once he's actually into it, maybe he will realize that it's weird and that he misses me and wants us back. It could happen. I hope it happens. But we never know what life will bring our way, obviously. We just have to know that God has a plan for us and only gives us what we can handle. But all I know is that I came home and cried, pretty damn hard, for almost an hour.