I can't promise you forever but I still want you to come over

Why do I have this awful feeling that an end is coming soon?

I dunno the nights get hard. I just, I dunno. 

I don't want to get phased out of your life but I can't help but wonder if that's going to be what happens. Unintentionally sure, but life has a way of doing stuff like that.

It crushes me to think like this and I know that I shouldn't but like I can't help but wonder if this'll be the last birthday of yours that I'll get to like actually celebrate with you, I mean if I even get to do that this year. Or if it'll be an obligatory text for a year or two and then nothing. Like I know that's terrible to say. But that's where my mind wanders sometime. I never thought we'd get to that point but now it doesn't seem so unrealistic. But just know that I don't want that. I don't want us to drift apart like that. But idk maybe we should. God that sounds terrible but like where do you see things going with us? I can't help but think this is where we drift. While Miranda and you are a thing. And if/when you aren't, then we could maybe dive back in? I dunno it's crazy but I have this romantic notion that we will drift and then if/when things don't work out, we will start to talk a lot again and get closer and you'll fall right back in love with me again. And maybe I've said too much but what else is new