all of it.

I still see it all in my head.

I still remember the very first time I talked to you. I was actually kinda nervous but excited at the same time, and I remember that as it went on, I started getting giddy. I got butterflies. It was a Monday night and you were watching football.

I remember you asking me out for the first time and even then, it made me so happy.

I remember being in Iowa for Thanksgiving the following week and how we already wanted to tell each other we love each other. But we wanted to wait and do it in person.

I remember the very first time you told me those 3 beautiful words. I love you

I remember our first kiss. My first. I think it was just as awkward as any junior high first kiss. But I mean that in a good spirited way. I still remember the way it felt.

I remember those first times we went over to each other's houses. I don't know about you, but I was really nervous. At the time, I didn't know that your house would one day become almost like my second home.

I remember you giving me doggie. He has had an almost permanent residence on my bed and in my arms ever since.

I remember this last time we dated, that day in Fairmont together where we both seemed to know that something was going to happen. You asked me out again. And it was really sweet and cute and I still remember sitting in the truck on the first of many sketchy gravel roads, reading that note you wrote me.

I remember our first time. I was completely 100% comfortable with you. And it felt so good to trust someone so deeply. Sorry for how sexual that sentence ended up being :P My first time was a really good experience. The sex might not have been that good, but it was the very first time for both of us. And we got a lot better.

I remember our last time. It might not have meant anything to you, but it still meant something to me.

I remember last summer. We were together a lot and we were so in love. I remember those nights driving with you and holding hands and being able to feel our love and think that we would be together forever. That this was it. We finally made it. I remember being so incredibly happy with you.

I remember how right and amazing it felt to just be in your arms.

I remember all the times you did really sweet things for me. You were an amazing boyfriend.

I remember our date that was now about 3 months ago. We were us again. We were really happy and in love.

I remember it all too well. And I think that is why I can't seem to give up and move on.

I cried pretty much this entire time typing this. I wouldn't give any of it up for the world and I would give anything to have it again. I miss us so much.

I still love you so much.

If only you were as ready to jump back into us as I am.