Please tell me how I'm not going to just fade out of your life? Like you said we'd still hang out, but like when? I'm sad that it came up so quickly. All of a sudden it's less than a week away. And I dunno, I'm like sad but yet idk almost accepting? Which I guess is good. Anymore I really do have a hard time with just being bummed out about stuff for a long time. Like it'll suck when I think about it, but once I've started thinking or doing something else, I'm good. Like it's not worth it to be sad about something you can't change, that won't change, that is just going to happen regardless. And like it needs to happen. That sounded weird to say, but that's basically like how things have been since we broke up way back. Things with other people have to take their course, fully and wholly, before we could ever be a thing. And I'm starting to think that there's always going to be someone else or something else that gets in our way. And a few tears fell when I wrote that but like first it was Sena, then you just didn't want a girlfriend, and now there's Miranda. It has yet to be me again. But yet I loved how things were last semester. I thought they were really good. Things obviously weren't perfect but I was happy with it, that's like what I wanted. I still don't get how things changed so much. And now we're here and I'm saying all these things I wouldn't have thought I woulda like 2 months ago. It just really makes me wonder what's gonna happen during the rest of this year. So much has gone down in the first 4 months. So much I had no clue was coming on New Years, when I had truly thought this could be our year. But I mean, there's still 8 months left which is both a long time and not long. So much could happen, and it could fly by. Maybe this is a fool-hearted thing to say, actually it probably is, but I haven't ruled out us being more of a thing again by the end of the year.
I dunno, my emotions like to play with my mind.
Also, if you hadn't said that you like hanging out with me, I don't think we would have been friends anymore. Because how do you be friends with someone who answers no when you ask them if they like hanging out with you too? I think it's simple: You don't.
I never would have thought I woulda said something like that about you.
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