Crazy day

I don't just start off assuming it has to do with me. I need a reason to think that before I ever do. Your un-interested texts came across as something was wrong. So I asked if you were okay, which to me is almost synonymous to "what's bothering you". You said you were okay so I was like okay it's probably not something else. So I asked if you were holding your tongue, pertaining to our conversation. And you said maybe. Which was as close to a confirmation as I had gotten so I followed that. I asked you to tell me. I wanted you to tell me. Something I said had caused something in you and you wouldn't say anything about it. So I went back to our conversation, not knowing that's what it was and wasn't at the same time. I figured you had a hurtful opinion that you were holding in because honestly that's usually what you are holding back. And then I tried letting you know that I wanted to stop whatever it was, but I couldn't if you wouldn't tell me what it was. And you said you know so I took that as further confirmation that it was something about me. And then I tried saying it's done, it's in the past, let's move on. And then you said maybe it has absolutely 0% to do with me. So I thought it wasn't about me but then right after you said that it still wasn't confirmed that it wasn't me. So then I really didn't know what to think since you had more or less told me it was simultaneously both me and not me. That was the worst part. It felt like you were playing mind games with me. I felt trapped. You seemed mad at me for assuming it was about me, even though you had said things to make me think it was in fact. And then after the fact you finally told me what it was. Which ended up being me talking about something that then made you feel down about your own situation. And you still had told me to not just assume it's always about me. I fucking know that. But when you say maybe it's me and don't confirm that it's not me, what else am I supposed to think. You plant the seeds. I tried getting you to tell me. I tried in the beginning with asking if you were alright. I tried ending the whole situation. I tried so hard. I couldn't win. I told you why I would assume it's me, my reasons and everything, and you still ended up telling me not everything involves me. All this over me just thinking aloud. I wish you would have just said something about what it was in the beginning. I was clearly rambling. You could have just been like ya I'm bummed I'm not getting one and I would have stopped. Didn't matter to me to keep talking about it or not but I had no idea. I tried to have you tell me so I could have stopped. But oh well I guess. I just wish we could have communicated better. It would have solved everything if I could have just known it was me or not. I don't know why you were so stubborn about it. The back and forth. I feel bad about what I did but ugh. I would have stopped. Oh well. Done with now