But I try

I try to improve myself. I do. I try not to take things personally and not get into dumb things. It's hard though. Changing a way of thinking is hard. Sometimes I feel like a train wreck. One car falls off the tracks and soon half a dozen others have followed it's path. Sometimes I put salt in my own wounds. I can be hard on myself to the point of almost being damaging. And I still haven't been able to control myself. It's hard. It's all just hard. It's hard that it's hard. But I do try. It's not fun to get upset about things.