lonely

so I'm going to start off by saying that I'm not mad or blaming or anything like that. I'm sure I deserve all of it. But... it's really sucked. I was gone for 2 weeks on vacation, I come back and have a really great weekend with you guys, probably the best of the summer, and then I haven't gone out since. I've hung out with Z twice, which has been really good, but I miss going out and hanging out with everyone. And tonight, Katie wants to do Ouija and I really want to go. But I won't because I know you don't want me there. Like I said, I understand, I've just been getting really lonely. And seeing the tweets sucks too. So I just can't wait for things to go back to normal. Or at least as close to normal as they can get. I hate missing out on things but right now, I don't really have a choice. So whenever you are ready, I'm right here. Oh, and I debated whether or not I should even blog... but then I figured that it's my blog, my safe space. You don't have to read it if you don't want to. And idk if you even are reading it still. If you are, the next part is gonna be about Z so you might not want to read it.

I love being best friends.... But I would love it even more if we were best friends and dating. That would be so great. I can see it now. Can you see it? It would be amazing. I want that so bad. I want us so bad. I miss us. I dunno maybe I want another heart to heart about us stuff. I like staying updated. As you know. I dunno I am in a weird mood and just want you.