parts

so I want to start off with saying thank you for coming over tonight. seriously, it was really good. you've been a really good friend. Seriously. I love you

now... before I get into this... I don't want it to affect anything negatively. Because I really do greatly enjoy spending time with you still and we are almost best friends and that is really great.

so... there is a part of me that... keeps hoping that one of these times we hang out, you will realize that I am better, that we are better, and that you will want us back again.

And then there is a part of me that is telling the other part that it is stupid.

And honestly, I don't even know if that situation from the first part is even possible. I think we are great. I think we deserve another chance. But you are the deciding factor. And so far you haven't picked me.

and now I'm going to go back to trying to push all those thoughts into a corner and not go there and try to be happy.
I love you.