H.B.

So Happy Birthday to you Z :) It's been a crazy year hasn't it? I still remember a year ago when it was raining and we went to St. Peter and went to that one park I love :) That was really special. I just I don't know I've been in this weird mood all day. I can't really identify what it is either. But I think I've told you I love you several times now... I just feel like telling you today. You never know when your last day will be. I want to make today count. And I wish I could see you today and I'm gonna be honest, it kinda sucks that you asked L to prom today but ya. Can't change it. Gotta accept it. And move on from it. And I think I am doing that. I dunno. I'm strange. It's like been a constant bittersweet thing the past day er so. Like I am happy yet I miss you. Lovely. I guess... I have kinda felt closer to you again these past few days... And I really like it. I mean it's still "a ways" away but some day... right? I'm just thinking... like... I'd be a great girlfriend now... I promise... I wouldn't get mad at all the stupid shit... I'd be accepting.... I'd do my best to be the best for you... I'd be really happy and we would be really happy... I'm out of my funk... I think I see the wrongs I did and will do my best not to do them again.... the sad thing is... I know you don't look at this... and I don't know if I have the balls to actually say all of this too you.... because rejection hurts...