changing us

I wouldn't change anything about us. Everything good and bad has made us what we are today. And I love who we are today. So no matter how much things have hurt and sucked in the past, I still wouldn't change it. I mean honestly time apart from each other was probably even a good thing for us. We still found our way back to each other. We are still perfect for each other. I don't want that to change. So thus, I wouldn't change a single thing about us. Ever. I mean yeah it might have ya know been nice to not have to go through all that hurt and confusion and rejection, but it got us to where we are now. This may sound bad, but I always love those times when we are so close to getting back together. There is a lot of excitement there. Sometimes the anticipation is almost unbearable but it's ok. Because then we get back together and everything is absolutely wonderful again. Also, the past is the past. There is nothing we can do to change it; all we can do is learn from it. So maybe next time, you will actually talk to me about things, instead of just deciding for yourself that you are going to break up with me and not really tell me anything :P Because honestly, the worst part was the fact that everything was so sudden and confusing and you already had it set in stone before I could even react. Like it's one thing when you see it coming, but it hurts on a whole different level when it is completely out of the blue. It takes more to recover from that, and to be able to actually trust again. Because when you trust someone so completely, and then they just leave, it's really hard. It takes a lot out of you. Because your head is still spinning so much from that, that you don't even know what to do, where to start over. Slowly, you pick yourself up and you move on. Because there is nothing else that you can do. And then you start to find yourself. Except, you aren't the same person that you used to be. Because now you are damaged. You are weak. You look for any tiny reason to believe that there is still some hope. And you feel pathetic for over analyzing every little thing, but you don't know what else to do. You're lost. You're confused. You're scared. You start to search for something to make you happy and are lucky if you find it. But yet you still have that emptiness. Because that person who left you, they left a hole the size of Texas in you. Someone who was previously so important and solid and always there and so completely amazing, is now gone. And you have no idea how you are supposed to fill that hole. Nothing or no one you could come up with would fit into that hole just right and make everything better. And it doesn't just heal over night. It stays raw for quite a while. Slowly, as you start to forget how much that person really meant to you, that hole starts to get smaller and smaller. It becomes easier to fill the wound. But yet, in the back of your mind, you are still wishing that that person would come back and make everything better and fill the hole once again. And I, I was lucky enough to have that happen. And he is so amazing and we are so amazing, more amazing than we were before. So I wouldn't change it at all. We all make mistakes and if we are lucky enough, the person will realize what they did and will want you back. I was lucky. I love us so much. Just like I love him so much <3

and that was entirely too dramatic and emotional but oh well. I'm deep :P