You never planned on the bombs in the sand

They always say that if someone wants to be in your life, they will make the effort to do so. 

And I appreciate the talking. It's always nice. But like I can't just never see you. Like I get your reasoning and I probably sound like a lameo but.. How can friends that live 10 minutes from each other go weeks on end without seeing each other. But yet you can't make any time for me. Which I do kinda get but yet I also don't. That night with the casino, you said we'd hang out Sunday and have quality time. And when Sunday came and you backed out, you promised you'd make it up to me. But it's been six weeks. I haven't seen you for more than maybe an hour at once since then. I wasn't even allowed to take you out for lunch for your birthday. How can you promise we will still hang out and then not follow through with it? Like I get you're busy. But I haven't even seen you at all in almost 3 weeks. That's a long freaking time. And Ik you say that come May, we'll still see each other. Or at least that we won't never see each other. But I feel like we already hardly ever see each other, since the new year, and especially since things changed. I long for the Jacob heights days. I honestly do. I long for the beginning of fall semester too. When we were all motivated and saw each other almost every day. I thought that was great. But i guess it expired. School, killing time between classes, just chilling and watching tv and eating, all of that was so much better with you. Those mundane things were nice. But I wish we coulda changed the pace more. Idk that sounds weird. But like done more than just Netflix and chill. :P. I mean maybe this idea has long since expired but I would have let you teach me to ski. I say let because it scares me :P or when you joined the gym, I was actually really eager to join you. Coulda been my 5k buddy, you're probably a better runner than I am too. Or I wish we could have gone to Duluth or somewhere, even as a day trip. I wanted to do all sorts of fun, different things with you. But I can't help but feel like that's come and gone. You don't have time for me anymore. That one stung. 

I dunno, I guess I just kinda wonder what your reason is for still talking to me so much? Do you do it just for my sake?  Do you really want to be my friend? Do you want to keep me around for if things don't work out? Like honestly, do you think things for us are over, for good, or do you still think there's a chance for us down the road? Because I don't know.