I guess I'm in a weird mood again. I think it's a result if stress. I've been feeling pretty stressed lately. Like can we just skip ahead to when I have a degree and a job I actually like and a husband and kids? Even if I could just get a glimpse of my life in 2 or 3 years, hell even just a year, just to know how things turn out and what ends up happening, that would be great. I just want to know if I'll be happy. I don't know what to do with my life. I don't know if I'll end up getting what I want in life. Hopefully somewhat soon I'll figure out what to major in in college. But like... I dunno what I'm trying to get at. I just... Things are over with us for now but it just feel like they aren't over forever. Like there is still something there. We both know that. We could truly be great and I think maybe sometimes you see that too. I keep thinking of all these things I wish we could do together. We had kinda gotten in a rut and never really did anything different from our usual. Which was more or less because of money. But now we could be more adventurous and exciting. I honestly think it would be a new us if we got back together. We would still have some main elements of the old us but a lot would be different, better. I just want that chance to experience what we would be like. Just ugh. Ik I sound pathetic but please don't lecture me again. I already know everything you tell me.
I am so much stronger than people think. I can get over things and put on a smile. Despite all this, I am still proud of how far I've come and all that I have accomplished. I'm a better person than I was 9 months ago.
Tonight I'm feeling like an astronaut
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