Valentine's

So obviously today is Valentine's Day... which kinda sucks... but it's also pretty much just like every other day... which sucks because it's supposed to be a special day. Oh well. I guess. I dunno. I'm trying my hardest, I really am. Which I don't know if that's really working that well. Because then I put pressure on myself which may cause me to freeze up. I don't know. I'm just stumbling through life right now... And seriously this boy is driving my crazy.... in a good way and a bad way... if that makes any sense at all? I mean two nights ago we talked in his car for probably a good 40 minutes or so... and it was so great... seriously... it made me feel so good. We were coupley and stuff. And then last night I saw him for like 5 minutes or so and he got me some flowers... orange roses... and he said it was because he knew I have been sad and stuff so he wanted to make me feel better. Aww! That was so sweet. ...but also, all this stuff just makes me want us back together that much more. I want us like that all the time. But I think now I finally have a good grasp on the reasons why. There's 3 from my understanding. We didn't talk much when in a group, become better friends, and stop all the "bull shit fighting". So hopefully we can do that... I just still feel like everything with us is going by so slowly. So that sucks. But on the bright sides, he really does want to get back together eventually, he said he will always love me, and we are now at a 6. No longer a 4 or 5, a 6. Which is pretty good. I mean we still have a long ways to go in that sense... But there is progress. So that's good. But tomorrow he leaves for a whole week... so that will be interesting to see how that goes... I hope he still talks to me quite a bit, but I totally understand if he doesn't... I hope he can come to see me tonight... blah... And I really am trying to be excited for this weekend, I mean I think it will be fun, I just really really wish Z was going to be there instead of A. So yeah.