might be pointless..

so as the title of this suggests, this really truly may be pointless.

I can't really think of all that much to say besides stuff you don't really care about but oh well.

So the other night I really grew some balls and asked him why we aren't together; what's keeping us from each other. And apparently it's the same reason as we broke up. Sooo yeah I guess that sucks. Maybe one day I'll get super ballsy again and ask him what he would do if I actually asked him out. Butttt that's pretty ballsy so who knows.

I guess things with him have honestly been kinda blah. I mean I can tell he still like cares and stuff but yeah. Not really sure what to do there.

So today at lunch me and my best friend went and sat by him since he was all by himself since his friends hadn't come yet. And honestly... I really liked that. I mean it was semi-awkward but eating with guys makes you feel a LOT better about your own eating habits. Plus we are friends with all of his friends so it really wasn't that weird. Which is good. Mayyybeee it would be something we could do more often IF me and him go out again. But for now, it would be cool to do it every once in a while. Especially since possibly the best part about it is that the Rapist sees us there and then go sits somewhere else. <3

and also, not to be like depressing, but everything seems to be so exhausting right now, really draining. It's hard to have to keep working so hard at everything...

behind those walls that won't come down, I'm sure you had more things to say